I so love this comment and you remind me of the brilliant white women friends that I have and cherish. The "willingness to be porous" is so very hard. I know that these past few years in the U.S. have made speaking truth a non-negotiable. I have been complicit in being too committed to my white friends' comfort and now trying to gently but firmly speak the truth about the impact of racism and what silence about it on both sides creates. I'm renegotiating relationships now and it is stressful on both sides. However, we have firm foundations and will rise up stronger and better. Thanks again for your kind and insightful words.