What Toddlers and Trump Have in Common
Every time I see my adorable 19-month-old grandnephew, lovingly nicknamed Chunky, he looks at me, scrunches his nose, perks his lips and then signals not to come anywhere near him by fake crying. I find it rather amusing and don’t take it personally as he is like that with everyone who isn’t his Daddy or Mommy. He is attached to them like white on rice, especially his Dad.
On Thanksgiving, his Mimi, my sister, gave his parents a well-deserved break (my niece cooked a fabulous Thanksgiving meal hosted as my sister’s) and planned a sleepover for her grandkids. While his parents were preparing their getaway, I went downstairs to check on Chunky. He was happily amusing himself in the large playhouse ringing the doorbell (yes, it really rings) and going in and out the door. On a reentry he turned around and noticed me, scanned the room and quickly assessed that Mommy and Daddy were not there. Although I look a bit like Mimi, I wasn’t her either. He quickly waddled up the stairs just in time to cling to Mommy’s leg as they were about to exit. Responding to his fake cries, my niece picked him up. Fake crying immediately stopped. He then looked over his mom’s shoulder directly at me, smirked and fake spat at me.
I am still laughing.
For months now, maybe years for some of us, Trump has lived rent free in our minds robbing us of sleep and our mental health. His use of violent language threatens the emotional and psychological safety of millions of Americans who are the target of his words. His language is uniquely simplistic and divisive among U.S. presidents.
For all of us who exercised the right to vote for our candidate of choice other than him, Trump is acting like my 19-month old grandnephew glued to his MAGA supporters and to only those who voted for him, falsely claiming a landslide victory and a mandate by his Americans.
We cannot give him the luxury of a ‘wait and see approach.” As Maya Angelou says, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them…the first time.” We have plenty of data about his toddler behavior and spitting on Americans he doesn’t like with his words. We saw what his rhetoric did on January 6th and how his extremist message continues to divide us.
We must continually remind Trump and his administration that we are ALL Americans, and that our voices matter as well. Not any less than those who voted for Trump. Votes determine the direction for policies and are not permission to bully, disrespect, and threaten other Americans. A simple truth that unfortunately is necessary to reinforce with Trump, just as we would toddlers when they need to be disciplined.
On matters of civility, respect, justice, equity, inclusion, and integrity, we can’t afford to wait this one out. Policies change with every administration, but we will lose the very soul of this country if we aren’t grounded in these values that are the bedrock of our democracy. We must be vigilant and fight for accountability especially during this administration. There is no way we can negotiate the moral incompatibility that most Americans, including some of those who voted for him, have with his rhetoric. Those who voted for Trump, and claim only to buy into his policies and not condone his behaviors, have a special obligation to hold him accountable for a civil society.
When my adorable grandnephew fake spits at me and clings to his parents, I laugh and look forward to the day when he is older and maturity and virtue lead his actions, and we can talk about this precious time and laugh together.
Sadly, with Trump, it is not a laughing matter.
It will be much harder during this second term to hold Trump accountable for the tone and impact of his words. But we must do it. We also must expose enablers of his disrespectful and often vile rhetoric and work to vote them out of office. We cannot give up on demanding respect from him and each other.
Never.
Words create worlds.
I am working for the day when, as adults, our precious toddlers will know that we didn’t condone, approve of, or dismiss Trump’s rhetoric and, as a result, they experience the full benefits of a civil, safe, humane and healthy society.